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How to Get Divorced in Connecticut

A plain-English, step-by-step guide to the process, the paperwork, and the maneuvers that actually matter — for people representing themselves.

This is information, not legal advice. It explains how Connecticut's divorce process generally works and what documents are typically filed. It is not a substitute for a licensed Connecticut attorney, and it cannot account for the specifics of your case. When something important is at stake — custody, a business, retirement assets, safety — talk to a lawyer.

Step 1. Decide which path fits

Connecticut has three routes. Picking the right one saves months.

Path	For whom	Speed
Nonadversarial ("simplified") — Joint Petition, `JD-FM-242`	Married < 9 yrs, no minor children, no real estate, modest assets, both agree	Fastest — can finish in ~35 days, sometimes no hearing
Uncontested	You agree on everything but don't qualify for simplified	~4–6 months
Contested	You disagree on custody, support, alimony, or property	Months to 1+ year

Residency: at least one spouse must have lived in CT for 12 months before a judge can finalize the divorce — but you can file sooner. Grounds are almost always "irretrievable breakdown" (no-fault) under C.G.S. § 46b-40.

Step 2. Start the case — file and serve

The person who files first is the Plaintiff. You prepare a small packet, a state marshal serves it on your spouse, and then you file it with the court.

The starting packet

Form	What it is
`JD-FM-159`	Divorce Complaint — starts the case, states grounds and what you want
`JD-FM-3`	Summons (Family) — the official "you're being sued for divorce" notice
`JD-FM-158`	Notice of Automatic Court Orders — the rules that bind you both
`JD-FM-164` + `JD-FM-220`	If you have minor children: affidavit about the kids + child-support worksheet

Order of operations: (1) fill out the packet, (2) a state marshal serves your spouse at least 12 days before the "return date," (3) the marshal gives you a return of service, (4) you file everything with the court clerk by the return date. Filing fee is roughly $360 (fee waiver JD-FM-75 if low-income).

Step 3. The Automatic Orders take effect non-negotiable

The moment your spouse is served, Practice Book § 25-5 Automatic Orders bind both of you. They are real court orders — violating them is contempt.

You generally may NOT: sell/hide/borrow against marital assets outside the ordinary course; cancel or change health, auto, home, or life insurance; take on unreasonable debt; remove the children from Connecticut to live; or change the children's school or beneficiaries — all without the other's consent or a court order.

This cuts both ways. If your spouse drains an account, stops paying the mortgage, or drops you from insurance after being served, that's a violation you can take to court (see contempt). Document it the day it happens.

Step 4. The other side responds

Once served, your spouse (the Defendant) should:

File an Appearance (JD-CL-12) — non-negotiable miss this and you can be defaulted (lose without a hearing).
Optionally file an Answer, and a Cross-Complaint if they want their own relief (Practice Book § 25-9).

Most divorces never need a Motion to Dismiss or Motion to Strike — those attack jurisdiction or legal defects and are rare here. If you're served and you do nothing, you don't stop the divorce; you just lose your voice in it.

Step 5. Financial affidavits — the spine of the case non-negotiable

Both parties must file a sworn Financial Affidavit (JD-FM-6, short or long form) listing income, expenses, assets, and debts. Nearly every money fight — alimony, support, fees, property — is decided off these documents.

Do this one well. A clean, accurate, complete affidavit is the single highest-leverage thing a self-represented person controls. A sloppy or false one gets you impeached and destroys your credibility with the judge on everything else.

Step 6. Pathways & the case date

Connecticut runs family cases through "Pathways" case management (Practice Book § 25-50A). Early on you get a Resolution Plan Date (RPD) — a meeting with a family relations counselor to sort what you agree on and assign the case a track (A = simplest, B = moderate, C = high-conflict).

Term	What it means
Resolution Plan Date	First real checkpoint; file your financial affidavit by it
Case Date	A scheduled date where the court hears pending motions
Motion Docket	A monthly date for urgent pendente lite motions that can't wait

The 5-day rule (§ 25-34A): a pendente lite motion is automatically scheduled for the next case date — but it only gets heard if, at least 5 business days before the case date, you file a list of the motions you want heard, in priority order. Miss the list and your motions sit unheard.

Step 7. Pendente lite motions — relief "while the case is pending"

This is where contested divorces live. "Pendente lite" (PL) means temporary orders that hold until the final judgment. The common ones:

Motion	What it does
Alimony PL (§ 46b-83)	Interim spousal support
Child Support PL	Interim child support (guidelines-driven)
Counsel Fees PL (§ 46b-62)	Makes a richer spouse help fund your lawyer so the fight is fair
Custody/Parenting PL (§ 46b-56)	Interim custody and a parenting schedule
Exclusive Possession (§ 25-25)	Who gets to live in the house
Contempt (§ 25-27)	Enforce the Automatic Orders or any court order

Highest-leverage moves for a self-rep: a counsel-fee motion to offset a money imbalance, and a contempt motion the first time the other side breaks the Automatic Orders. Both have a fee hook (§ 46b-87) and both put the other party on the defensive.

Step 8. Discovery — getting the facts

Connecticut requires mandatory disclosure (§ 25-32): both sides automatically exchange financial documents, no request needed. Beyond that you can serve interrogatories, requests for production, requests for admission, and take depositions (Practice Book Chapter 13).

If the other side stonewalls → Motion to Compel (§ 13-14).
If their requests are abusive or invade privilege → Motion for Protective Order (§ 13-5).

Discovery is where hidden income and assets surface. It's also where firms with resources try to bury a self-rep in paperwork. Keep a simple log of what was served and what's overdue.

Step 9. Settlement or trial

Most cases settle. If you reach agreement, you write it up as a Separation Agreement / Stipulation (§ 46b-66) and the judge incorporates it into the decree. If you can't agree, you file Proposed Orders (§ 25-30) and a pretrial memo, and the judge decides after trial.

Motion in Limine before trial asks the judge to exclude specific evidence (e.g., untimely-disclosed documents or irrelevant material). It's a precision tool, not a shotgun.

Step 10. Judgment & after

The judge enters the dissolution decree with final orders on custody, support, alimony, and property. After judgment you may need:

Motion for Modification (§ 46b-86) — change support/alimony/custody after a substantial change in circumstances.
Motion for Contempt (§ 25-27) — enforce the decree if your ex doesn't comply.
Motion to Open (§ 52-212a) — narrow, and generally only within 4 months.

Patterns you may see — and the rules that relate to them

This describes general patterns and the procedural tools that exist in Connecticut. It is information, not advice, and not a recommendation about what to do in any specific case.

Patterns common with well-resourced opponents

High filing volume ("papering") — a large number of motions, objections, and discovery requests. Related rules: counsel-fee allowance under C.G.S. § 46b-62, and the § 25-34A case-date motion list, exist for these situations.
Conditioned courtesies — agreement to one thing offered only in exchange for another. Related: Connecticut weighs the parties' conduct and equities in financial orders; a disproportionate condition is something a court can consider.
Controlling the record — protective-order and sealing motions. Related rules: Practice Book §§ 13-5 and 25-59A set the legal standards a party must meet for those.

Procedural tools that often shape a case

Automatic-orders contempt — the automatic orders (P.B. § 25-5) bind both parties; documented violations are what a contempt motion turns on.
Financial-affidavit accuracy — sworn financial affidavits can be compared against financial records; accuracy matters for both sides.
Exclusive possession — which parent remains in the home can affect the practical parenting status quo.
Timing of relief — pendente lite (while-pending) motions for fees and support are available before the case is resolved.

The non-negotiables — skip these and you lose on procedure, not merits

File your Appearance (JD-CL-12) immediately — or risk default.
File an accurate Financial Affidavit (JD-FM-6) on time, under oath.
Obey the Automatic Orders (§ 25-5) from the day of service.
Put a Certification of Service (§ 10-13) on every document you file.
Meet the § 25-34A 5-business-day motion-list deadline before each case date.
Complete the Parenting Education Program (§ 46b-69b) if you have minor children.

The most common self-rep mistakes: missing the appearance; a late or sloppy financial affidavit; blowing objection deadlines; assuming a document is "filed" just because it's dated; and chasing dramatic gestures instead of the procedural blocking-and-tackling that actually wins.